Girl Get Your Life Together


She was going to be late. If she was lucky she would still make it, but she would be late. And unfortunately Jess was a great deal of things, lucky was not one of them. The first wrong turn happened about 8 miles ago? Give or take. While she wasn’t exactly new to the city, she was about as familiar with it as a collection of Encyclopedia Britannica, which is to say not at all.

Normally, if one got lost their first line of action would be to call someone from that destination, get directions, and laugh about it all later in life. However, in a crazed rush to get ready, Jess forgot her charger, and if the squinting is anything to go by she also forgot her glasses. People like Jess are what one would call a complete and utter wreck, and it would greatly benefit all if she were to get a keeper.

Keeper ˈkē-pər noun: a person whose job is to guard or take care of something or someone.

One sweaty hand firmly gripping the wheel, while the other alternated between fanning herself and dabbing her brow. Out of desperation she gave her air conditioning a, frankly, pathetic slap. It was still broken. She thanked whatever deity that made it a requirement for her to wear maroon, the dark color making her sweat all but invisible. It was one thing to show up late, but with pit stains? Jess shuddered at the thought. Allowing herself a quick glance in the mirror she wondered what they would say when she got there. Would they take in her kinky hair, dry scratchy voice, and conclude she was out partying instead of resting up for the big day? Would they mention her sweat? Glaring at the road she imagined all the various ‘family and friends’ gossiping loudly to each other, ‘Oh look she’s doing the walk of shame’ ‘Why did Brita invite her?’

Well fuck them I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life. May be I won’t even go. I mean they can do this without me right? That’s it I’m not going.

She allowed herself a whole twenty seconds before she conceded that she was being irrational, and did in fact have to be there. In hope of a little motivation Jess began coming up with scathing rebuttals for her imagined antagonists.

Well Janet can get off her high horse, she can shake her head all she wants, I wasn’t the one throwing myself at every ‘single’ member of the male species during the rehearsal.

A steady wave of Deja vu washed over her. Which was understandable considering this was the third time she had circled the block. Her eyes flashed to the small car clock, still covered with a pink sticky note. One unsteady hand reached for it, a single drop of sweat trickled down her temple. Then she quickly ripped the sticky off like a Band-Aid just like she was taught to. She gave out a small shriek at the hour. Pulling over, flinging herself out of the car, she franticly looked around before spotting her salvation.

“Hey man can I borrow that? Yeah thanks!”

The man in question never actually consented, but Jess was on a mission, and cared not for formalities. Dialing the number from memory she began pacing along the ringing.


At the sound of her brother’s voice she beamed. “Hey! It’s me, Jess – “

“Where the hell are you?”

Jess winced at the volume, before her brother could get into one of his long winded lectures she cut in. “My phone died, I forgot the directions, I’m lost, and I need you to come save me.”

There was a deep sigh that could translate to ‘dear God why did you give me this burden?’

“Fine where are you?”

After asking the dumfounded phone owner where they were, she reiterated it back to her brother who demanded she stay put, he’ll be there in a few, please for the love of God don’t get in trouble. Jess waited on the curb, happily slurping the cool drink she convinced phone guy to buy her. A horn started barking as the car stopped before her, her brother poked his head out.

“There you are I was – where are you glasses? You know what never mind just get in the car.”

Jess eagerly accepted. During the ride she turned to her brother, who was glaring at the road.

“How’s my girl?”

He huffed, “How do you think? Stressed, and you know what I’m stressed too, I was given your job while you were doing who knows what. Me! Everyone is so wild they gave me your duties.”

“Well not for much longer.”

“By the time we get there all you will have to do is stand there, look pretty, and pray the wedding party doesn’t kill you.”

Jess gave a shrug, “At least I’m going to make it.”

They instead got stuck in traffic.